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Oct. 7th, 2008

AP interview with patrick.

MY OTP IS STILL ALIVE AND WELL, KTHNKS. god, i love how much these boys love each other.

i really missed fob, honestly and truly. i'm so glad they're still around to make me smile on cloudy days. :]

to my flist: ummm, i haven't been reading you? ... *fails* /o\ i've just been spending all my time fucking around on gaia and webpbn and making out with chris. epic faaaaail.

college is great. boyfriends are great. rainy days are great. my roommate is great. life is great. :3
:D

that face pretty much sums up EVERYTHING right now.

yesterday, chris and i celebrated our monthiversary. \o/ i know, that's not actually that long, but STFU IT IS AWESOME.

and TODAY I GOT MY COPY OF G:BPOTO&F:IGSWLH IN THE MAIL. \o/ \o/ \o/ OMG IT IS SO SHINY AND PRETTY AND GORGEOUS, BLAYNE, I'M MAKING ALL OF MY COLLEGE FRIENDS READ IT. I LOVE RYANROSS AND HIS SOUL-CRUSHING DISDAIN.

i also got a package from my dad. it was full of ramen and issues of Rolling Stone and AP. :]

...

:D ♥
things i need to say, er, type...

1) my new default icon is amazing. miranda made it for me. SKIDOOSH.

2) i'm writing an essay. just now. that is due at 9:10. i need to not procrastinate.

3) chris can be kind of a douche. but not in the bad way. dammit, i am HORNY and he DOES NOT HELP THE SITUATION. D< a two-minute goodnight kiss is not the best way to get me calm and focused to write an essay. JUST FYI, Y'KNOW.

4) WHAT THE FUCK, UNIVERSE. STOP ITTT. i almost got a job today, working on the obama campaign. but then they were like, "oh. wait. sorry, you have to be 18." FUCK MY FUCKING BIRTHDAY FUCK FUCK FUCKITY FUCK. D:<

5) as of like 2 hours ago, it is our 3 week anniversary. shut up, we both keep track and he brought it up first so we are just weird freaks together omg.

6) the reason i'm scared to be, y'know, intimate with chris is because i'm scared i won't like it and i'll suddenly realize i'm a lesbo or something and i'll break his heart. D: his precious little hearttt. HE SAYS HE ALWAYS ATTRACTS LESBIANS, GUYS. i'm pretty sure, though, that since i am not 100% grossed out by his p33n, i am not 100% gay. right? right. D: omg you guys, it's making me feel sickkkk. that might be the exhaustion talking, though. but. SELF-DOUBT, I HAS IT.

7) i miss my friends and family, even if it doesn't seem like i do. i've just been keeping myself too busy to realize it. maybe that's a bit of my nauseous-feeling-ness too.

8) okay, okay, i know you're probably sick of me talking about sex and my sexuality crises, but. guys, penises. THEY ARE SO WEIRD. D: vag is weird too, but at least i'm *used* to that. ...... PEEEEENIIIISSSSS.

9) OH, MOST ADORABLE THING EVER: CHRIS TALKING ABOUT HOW I AM A VIRGIN, AND HE WANTS TO WAIT TO HAVE ACTUAL SEX UNTIL THERE'S *LOVE* BECAUSE HE WANTS MY FIRST TIME TO BE MAGICAL. ~MAGICAL.~ HIS EXACT WORDS. he was totally half-asleep when he said it, but omg it still gets him brownie points because it is the most precious thing ever. his first was completely awful, from what i've heard, and he wants my first time to be better. LOVE, GUYS. so precious. ♥

10) because i like even numbers, i got a mocha from Maggie's (the cafe on campus). it is yummy and delicious.

but now i must write that goddamn essay. LEAVE ME COMMENTS WITH ADVICE/CRITICISMS/ANYTHING.
current favorites:

physical activity: SELF DEFENSE CLASS!! followed closely by making out with chris.

color: red or purple. THEY ARE THE COLORS OF MY MOTHERFUCKIN SOUL, MOTHERFUCKERS.

sound: the sound of my whole self defense class shouting in unison, CHIA.

time of day: early evening/night. it's so beautiful outside.

shoes: NONE. i walked back from class BAREFOOT. and i didn't even step on anything sharp!

song: I DON'T CARE. \o/ oh, fob, never leave me again. The best of us can find happiness in misery ♫

e-wifey who i still love and always will no matter what: heychristine. ♥

OMG ADRENALINE, I LOVE MY LIFE. :DDD
things of importance:

1. FALL OUT BOYS: NEVER LEAVE ME AGAIN. I DIDN'T REALIZE HOW MUCH I MISSED YOU. *cuddles them all*

2. i. want. a goddamn. lip ring. NAO. >:[

3. funny story. chris and i have been 'dating' for like, 6 days now. and basically, he likes to be VERY VERY HONEST about EVERYTHING. including his inappropriate and awkward boners. xD so um. i got to hear about how he hasn't jerked off since before coming up to the campus, and how annoying it is, and blah blah blah. so. he was getting a little handsy the other day. like, HANDSY. i told him to just GO JERK OFF ALREADY, OMG STOP MOLESTING ME LOL. he left and we met up a while later in the cafeteria for dinner. he leaned over and said, really quiet, "so, imagine walking up to a drinking fountain and getting sprayed by a fire hose." !!!!!!! AHAHA WHUT, TMI DUDE BUT WHATEVER, AWESOME.

oh and then a minute later someone said "chris, you look really tired," and we looked at each other and just started laughing. ohmygod, i laugh way too much around him.

maggie's, the cafe on campus, has really good chocolate. it's organic, locally-made stuff. and they also have doritos. motherfuckin win/win situation, there.

gerard's hair amuses me to no end, as it is the color my hair was last summer. ahahahaha.

ASHLEE MADE A JOKE IN HER BLOG ABOUT PETE WEARING HER PANTS. THAT MADE MY LIFE, A LITTLE.

and classes are going well. my music teacher played Take Five in class today as an example of a weird time signature, and i think i might have been the only person who expected it. i made a dumb noise of victory and got weird looks. but i get weird looks all the time anyway, so. nothing new there.

HAVE I MENTIONED HOW MUCH I WANT A GODDAMN LIP RING??? D: i'm only nervous because you hear horror stories and the 'after care' thing on wikipedia says you shouldn't make out with people for a long time after getting one and idek if chris would like it or not........... wtf, why am i worrying about what some BOY will think about it? DDD: dudes. halp.

p.s. I NEED MOAR SLEEP.

ETA: My Johari/My Nohari
so um. i have a boyfriend now.

... :3
so apparently i don't suck entirely at flirting?

story time!

there's this boy, chris, who lives in the dorm connected to mine. he is awesome and sweet and hilarious and can be very serious and stands up for his beliefs and stuff. we met briefly on the first day and discovered our common link- my roommate, gwynnie. he's been friends with her for years. so i got to hang out with him & gwynnie & another Katy who is chris's like, bff. we watched obama's speech the second night, and after a while gwynnie and katy left to do other stuff. so chris and i ended up talking and talking and talking about anything and everything, and we got ice cream at the cafe on campus, and kept talking. we ended up back in my dorm room, still talking, and after a while gwynnie wanted to go to sleep so we got in my bed and shut off the light and talked quieter than we were before. so that went on till about 3:30 in the morning, when gwynnie rolled over and told us to shut up so she could get some sleep. so i was like, "okay, sorryyyy." but like, chris ended up spending the night in my bed. we SNUGGLED. when we hadn't known each other for even 24 hours. crazyyy.

so then last night we were tired from not getting enough sleep, so we bailed on the fun stuff other people were doing to watch pan's labyrinth in the dark in my room. and talked over like half the movie. (we talk a lot, fyi. in case you didn't get that.) and like, we ended up going into a different room to watch the last of the mohicans, because gwynnie wanted to sleep. sooooo... we snuggled and were half asleep, and i eventually made him go to bed because he was incoherent and loopy.

and today i ended up crying on him when he asked how i could even know if i was really in love, but totally not in the bad way, and he told me that i am a beautiful person and i shouldn't doubt myself so much. (all i could come up with was that i just *know*, that she makes me feel like no one else ever has.)

i also had the college talk with christine. and she said she wouldn't be mad at me for liking someone. but i already feel guilty, because we have this really sudden really close relationship where he hits on me jokingly and i go along with it and i kind of like him seriously but i really don't want to make a move and feel like i'm using him, because he knows i am emotionally committed to christine. WTF LIFE YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO NOT DO THIS TO ME AFTER HIGH SCHOOL. xD

but right now i am actually just really amused by the whole thing. and chris is lying on my bed playing music and being awesome. so i'ma go interact with him. yeah.
so, about that new fob picture...

1) PATRICK OMG. HIS HANDSSS. HIS FEEET. HIS WHOLE LITTLE SELFFFF.

2) Joe's hair! IT IS BIGGER THAN HIS HEAD. I CALL SHENANIGANS.

3) PETE ACTUALLY LOOKS DECENT. IT MUST BE PHOTOSHOPPED. GWYNNIE AGREES.

4) ANDY HURLEY: YOUR BEARD WILL KILL US ALL. SHAVE PLZ. D:

all in all, i am wayyyy too excited for this new album. they are so precious and amazing and adorable and i am remembering why i fell in love with them in the first place.